• Beth Hildebrand

Why It’s Good To Be At A Loss Of Words


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I’ve really been at a loss of words.

I’ve been at a loss because I’m in awe at how God moved and spoke to the hearts of women at IF:Gathering two weeks ago.

I’ve been at a loss or words because my brain had kind of been on overload before and even more after processing all that had happened.

I’ve been at a loss or words because my body needed rest, and in order to do that, the day after IF:Gathering, I came down with a yucky cold, which I’m still fighting right now.  Maybe I was too tired to fight off germs flying around these days, or maybe it was from something else.

My loss of words, being sick, and gaining needed time with my family being out of school for a whole week because of the half inch of snow we got has forced me to slow down.  I was also given the gift to watch God perform miracles with transplants and celebrate lives for those who are now with Jesus.

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The day after the amazing gathering (2 weeks ago) of about 1 million women worldwide, there was a mess of emotions that put me in a daze.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the women in our IF:Alamance group who went out into the cold, winter night with a glow of the Light of Jesus in and around them.  They were radiating with an ignited mission to take this new passion to spread the gospel and the love of Jesus to their people.  I thought of the sweet, one-day-ago memories of hands raised in worship, knees on the floor in prayer crying out to God in our brokenness and confession, and steps of faith etched into stones and given to God as an offering from each woman’s heart.  They are ones I never want to forget.

Being real here now, I also could’ve been at a loss of words because someone was trying to steal the joy of those moments from me.  This someone was trying to steal not only words, but trust, joy, energy and zeal and replacing them with illness, exhaustion, worry and downright fear.

Yes, that someone called the father of lies – the adversary.

I was seeing God keep His promise that when we trust Him and when we’re obedient to His Word, then He’ll work through your weakness. I saw I AM  with us as we were vulnerable, real and authentic.  In other words, beautiful in His sight.   So many women were moved, God was lifted high, souls pulled closer to Him, and hearts changed and became stronger.

The adversary didn’t like that at all so when that weekend was over, he tried to weasel his way into my story in some  personal, “behind the scene” ways which I don’t want to focus on right now to give him the foothold.

Last week at one particular moment though, there was a break through from that battle by a simple email and God’s Word.

I start scribbling down on a piece of paper all the different stories women who were at IF:Alamance gathering told about how God’s Spirit transformed them that weekend and what He’s called them to do.

  1. to fight for Racial Reconciliation and lead discussions about it with co-workers and parents at children’s school

  2. to confess sin and wholly surrender to Christ

  3. get in her giant van and drive to the not-so-safe part of town to offer a family, and potentially others there, rides to church with her family with the intention to grow relationships with people who desperately need Jesus

  4. a major spiritual change in a woman’s life – change in a new direction and clear calling

  5. to invite young adult women around a table with a meal once a month to talk about Jesus and real life

  6. a letter of forgiveness was written to someone that seemed impossible to forgive

  7. women spoke at the pulpit for the very first time at their church (the day after IF) to call women to be bold and courageous

  8. women who rarely speak out in group discussions spoke out

  9. a woman not having been to church in a long time began going back to church

  10. to start raising money for awareness for a non-profit ministry

  11. affirmation in her career and ministry to reach out to women

  12. older college girls reaching to younger college girls to form new friendships

  13. women reaching out to mentor college girls or women younger then them in their church and community

  14. a high school girl writes on her blog sharing about the power of prayer and what it’s like to pray on your knees for the first time

  15. women being called to reach out to other women in their community by hosting IF:Gathering 2016 in their church or town – from Caswell County to Canada.

  16. women knew God needed them to do something even if they didn’t know exactly what quite yet but ready to pay attention and pray for direction

  17. God’s voice was heard and the presence of the Holy Spirit felt more real than ever before.

That’s just what I’ve heard from a handful of the 100+ women who were together in Elon and the million around the world.   I want to hear them all!

God is moving in the lives and souls of women.  The Good News of Jesus needs to be proclaimed and heard, even though it’s becoming riskier every passing day.  Even more, the time in nowWe must be bold and courageous because the Lord our God will be with us.

In whatever circumstance we are in, we must shine while we take steps of faith.  We must return to the Lord with all our hearts, commit ourselves to the Lord and serve Him. #pray703   I have this growing feeling of urgency for revival in our county, our country and the world, for people to know Him more and make His Name known.  For God’s glory to shine!

I don’t know how else to say it right now.  But for these past two weeks, I realize I don’t need to.  It’s been a time for God’s Spirit to speak through the stories from the other people who heard God and recently experienced Him.  They need to be heard.   The stories they’ve told, including ones that happened but remain untold, have made me speechless.  They’re amazing – because God is amazing through them.  They are gifts.

So, I’m glad I’ve been at a loss for words.  There’s times when words aren’t needed and there’s time to be quiet and listen to others.  I’m so thankful for the ones I’ve heard from others about how great our God is and boldly taking steps, and even leaps, of faith to bring God glory!

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified.  Do not be discouraged.  For the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9


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{Hey out there!  I’d love to hear more of your story about how God has challenged you to take a step of faith, or how you’ve wrestled with something you’ve faced recently.  Feel free to comment below or send a message.}

#Rest #Faith #Reach #IF #Truth

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