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  • Writer's pictureBeth Hildebrand

Are You On An Emotional Rollercoaster?

“Jesus fully realized all that was going to happen to him, so he stepped forward to meet them. ‘Who are you looking for?’ he asked.

‘Jesus the Nazarene,’ they replied.

‘I am he,’ Jesus said. (Judas, who betrayed him, was standing with them.) As Jesus said, ‘I am he,’ they all drew back and fell to the ground!” (18:4-6 NLT)

In the dark night, the area within the grove of olive trees was suddenly brightly lit with blazing red and orange flamed torches the Roman soldiers and Temple guards were holding as they followed Judas and walked toward Jesus.

As the John reports, “Jesus fully realized all that was going to happen to him, so he stepped forward to meet them. ‘Who are you looking for?’ he asked.

‘Jesus the Nazarene,’ they replied.

‘I am he,’ Jesus said.”

I wonder if the disciples and possibly the Temple guards, could have instantly had a flashback to Jewish teachings of Moses and his encounter with the burning bush that had been memorized and told for years. I wonder if the names Jesus had called himself while preaching just a few months earlier, from town to town, came to their minds – I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life, I AM the Light of the world, I AM the Good Shepherd, I AM the Bread of Life, I AM the Messiah…

I AM stepped forward to meet them. Thousands of years earlier, the first time we learned about I AM was in Exodus 3:14 when Moses asked God whom He should be called. And now it had come to a full circle and Jesus, I AM he, was ready to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins so we could experience a personal relationship with the Trinity.

And Jesus made that time clear when Peter cuts the ear off Malchus, the high priest’s servant. Jesus says to Peter, probably with a stern tone in his voice, “Put your sword away. It’s time for me to drink from this cup of suffering the Father has given me.” (vs. 11)

In other words, “It’s my time to endure suffering, abandonment, and death in order to pay for the sins of the world.”

Ouch. I wonder what went through Peter’s mind after he was reprimanded. I’d think it would be a roller coaster of emotions. Peter swung out of fear of the unknown trying to grasp what was going on. He swung out of worry because maybe how Jesus said he wasn’t going to always be with them was really looking like a possibility now. He swung out of rage for the Jewish Pharisees who had been against everything Jesus taught. He swung out of defense scared he’d be captured and tortured. Then deep down was he grateful that Jesus did another miracle right then and there, implanting Maluhus’ ear back on? Did he feel any peace because of his growing faith in Jesus? Was he longing to understand what God’s sovereignty was all about?

Lord, we are blessed with your Word and the gift of being able to think about all the suffering you endured for us to have eternal life with you. May it break our hearts and cause us to pause, reflect and repent. Please continue to give us peace during all the feelings we’re experiencing these days in our homes and around the world. In Jesus’ name!

Friends, have you been on an emotional roller coaster during the past few weeks in the middle of COVID19? What kinds of feelings have you been experiencing? How has COVID19 impacted you this Holy Week?

May you experience God in a special way this Holy Week.

{*photo by}

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